'was a quiet day in WadAsia, following many days of birds singing and
citizens blatantly displaying tranquil behavior by having picnics right
next to the castle's moat. The King was busy weaseling out of challenges
by other WadAsian knights claiming "computer problems" or possibly
"bloating caused by water retention." I can't help but wonder what has
happened to the sounds of battle that used to fill the air constantly in
I ventured out into the countryside in search of the other knights. The
first knight I found was none other than Sir Jeffulot. Though still
recovering from an emergency spleen transplant, he was busy shouting
challenges and throwing picnic baskets at the castle. "Come out and
fight like a man!!! Do you think I'm standing here for my health?!!! I
can't believe Lord Azrael kicked my ass at tennis again!!"
The fallen King Kev was laying in a gutter in the red light district
snorting crushed Flintstone vitamins, an addiction he developed during
childhood stemming from a science experiment by Sir Jeffulot. As I tried
to speak with him, he muttered something incomprehensible that sounded
like "Greeg spink dumble wiffer groat comblund." I suspect he had large
chunks of a bamm-bamm vitamin lodged in his throat.
Still reeling from grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory against King
Kev, Bon Bon John the Awful was sacking and looting several towns to
make himself feel better. He didn't seem to be gathering money or
valuables, just weapons and fair maidens. And even some unfair maidens
which he may release into the castle knowing the Dark Knight is not all
that choosey when it comes to females.
Bodhisattva was running around different neighborhoods challenging
anyone with a sword, including small children. When I asked why he had
not challenged a knight or even the king, he claimed that he was "still
in training." Judging by the number of screaming children, I'd say Bodhi
is on the verge of beginning to formulate the words he needs to begin
seriously thinking about when he might like to get around to deciding
that he would possibly like to issue a challenge.
I, of course, haven't been able to fit challenges into my busy sex life
and schedule of running around finding out what the other knights are
doing and issuing worthless press releases like this one. The glory
years of WadAsia seem to be long gone as the aging knights expend their
energy on things like lawn and garden maintenance and building shelving.
Hopefully tonight's battle between Sir Jeffulot and the Dark Knight will
change all that.
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council
Return to Main...