he citizens of Wadasia gathered to view the contest between Lord Azrael
and King Kev with a great respect for the newest warrior and his seemingly
insane challenge. Popcorn vendors were everywhere yet the bookies could not
be found. John the Awful, Sir Jeffulot, and Bodhisattva sat in the
bleachers with several buckets of popcorn and large megaphones to taunt the
The battle commenced with Sir Jeffulot and the Awful One shouting, "Death
to the King!"and "Aim at his pink slippers". Oddly Bodhisattva barely
gasped out, "Praise King Kev!". Awful and Jeffulot drew their swords and
began to smack Bodhisattva around yelling, "Kiss ass!". The battle was very
one-sided in favor of the King and was causing obvious discomfort to both
Jeffulot and Awful while they continued to call the King every name they
could think of.
Suddenly, with the battle nearly decided, the Awful One stood up and began
to behave as one possessed. He slashed the ears off those that sat near him
while screaming, "I want the King's head on a platter!". Sir Jeffulot held
his sword in one hand to fend off the wild blows of Awful and picked the
ears out of his popcorn with the other hand. Bodhisattva continued to cry
out, "Praise to the King!". This caused all surrounding (even those that no
longer had ears) to look at Bodhisattva and scream, "Shut the fuck up!".
A silence followed that the King noticed causing him to look over at the
Awful One and state, "You want some, punk?". Having been so inspired by the
bravery of Lord Azrael, the Awful One grabbed his bucket of popcorn and
headed for the arena. The battle between the King and Lord Azrael finished
and the crowd waited. Sir Jeffulot rushed outside the arena and grabbed
every bookie he knows. Bodhisattva began to holler, "Praise King Kev", only
to be pummeled by all the earless that sat around him.
Awful entered the arena to a great cheer as the crowd raised their headless
"King Kev dolls" that matched those that Awful had on each shoulder. Yes,
the most intense contest for the crown was about to commence....
~ Property of the WadAsian High Council
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